Things Too Big to Fit Through a Mirror
by KatxValentine
Summary: Ever wonder how Erik got all that crap down there....
1. Names

**Ooh, I have another Phantom fic. Well, this is just a silly little fic about the Phantom and his damn precious mirror….stupid thing. Well, ever wonder how he got all that stuff into his lair? This is _my_ explanation. One-shot, but may become multi-chaptered if I feel up to it. There are loads of plot holes in here, too, but this is a senseless fic, anyway.**

**On with the show!**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Things Too Big to Fit Through a Mirror**

**It was three in the morning, an obscenely early hour, as a grunt was elicited from the dressing room which was currently in the use of Christine Daae.**

"**Come along, creature, we haven't all night"**

**The older Giry rubbed sleep from her tired eyes, took the lantern from her bedside and softly placed her feet upon the floor. Wearily, she stepped to the dressing room and held the lantern in front of her. The light flickered and seeped to the dark corners, illuminating the room. The shadow of a broad-shouldered figure stood out against the wall. A white half-mask seemed to hover in the darkness.**

"**Come _on_!" the figure, identifiably male, exclaimed.**

"**Erik?" came Madame Giry's thickly accented voice.**

"**Ahh, old bag, help me here!" the man, now identifiably Erik, yelled brightly.**

"**Old….bag? Erik, what on earth are you doing?" the old woman inquired in total confusion.**

**Soon, a very peculiar sight came into view. As the light shimmered, it glinted off a vast expanse of glossy, black hair that clung to the rear of what seemed to be a horse. A long, jet black tail swished and a whinny rang through the nights' air.**

"**I need" another grunt "this horse"**

"**Why?" asked Madame Giry, convinced Erik suffered from a mental disorder.**

"**I need to seduce the woman!" he said, as if this was more obvious than even his mask.**

**  
"Erik, it will never fit" the old Giry said dryly.**

"**By god in heaven and all things good on this earth, this damnable creature _will_ fit!" he yelled, back against the horse as he pushed it further in. It let out a louder whinny and it's tail whipped the Phantom's neck.**

"**Erik, hush, you're going to wake-"**

**Too late.**

**Meg Giry, the obscenely perfect little angel, stumbled in exhaustedly.**

"**Mama, what's going on?" she murmured tiredly, raising her slender fingers to rub her eyes.**

"**Ahh, small blonde ballerina, you will help me! I must get this horse through-"**

**He was interrupted as the tiny blonde let out a shrill scream that could shatter windows.**

"**It's the Phantom of the Opera!" the little Giry cried frantically.**

**Another error. A tiny figure, clad in a white nightdress walked in, clutching a stuffed, worn cat to her chest. She yawned and followed suit to the other two, rubbing her chocolate eyes as if to wake from a dream.**

"**You, smaller and easily distracted brunette! Help me with this horse with which I shall seduce you!" **

**True to form, the newly ordained soprano pointed a delicate finger at herself as if to ask, 'who me?'**

"**No, the blonde standing next to you! Yes, you, fool! Come on!" he ordered.**

**Even truer to form, she became enraptured by the sight of the masked man and simply stared stupidly.**

**The Phantom rolled his eyes irritably and heaved both a sigh and the horse.**

"**What's going on in here?" a male's voice asked.**

**Raoul De Chagny stood in the doorway. Erik glared, his jaw clenching tightly at the sight of the younger man.**

"**Long haired she-male, will_ you _be of some use!" Erik inquired, jaw still tightly shut.**

"**I beg your pardon, sir?" the irritated Vicomte asked, looking a bit malevolent.**

**Green eyes once more rolled.**

"**What is this mess?" a voice, heftily accented by an Italian tinge, snapped,**

"**Nothing at all" Erik paused, looking the owner of the annoying voice up and down "birdwoman"**

**A tremendous shadow covered over La Carlotta's tall body.**

"**How dare you insult La Carlotta" the man behind Carlotta boomed, As if a bodyguard, Piangi stood behind Carlotta, his plump yet huge body casting a vast shadow,**

"**Well, spherical, obese elephant man, despite the fact that you _can_ use your size to get this animal through the mirror" the Phantom stopped, eyes lighting up like a child on Christmas morning "would _you_ like to be the next through my mirror?"**

**Now, needless to say, Erik was never a man whose sanity was fully in tact. The thing was, he had acquired this impulsive need to force way too big things through way too small spaces.**

**The walrus-sized Piangi paled visibly, gulped and took a step backward. A maniacal grin slowly grew upon Erik's lips.**

"**Ooh, you shall be _fun_" the 'Opera Ghost' sneered.**

**Dear Piangi seemed to pale even more. The huge, black horse impatiently kicked its' back leg.**

"**Yes yes, alright!" the Phantom sighed in exasperation. He returned to attempting to force the animal through the tiny space.**

"……" **was basically everyone's response.**

"**Let's go!" the Phantom gritted his teeth and pushed harder, muscles knotting as he did so. The horse whinnied louder and stamped its' hooves.**

"……" **once more.**

"**Old bag, small blonde ballerina, smaller and easily distracted brunette, long haired she-male, birdwoman and spherical obese elephant man, the quicker we get this horse through, the quicker the plot advances!" the masked man demanded.**

"……"

"**Fine, to the deepest layer of hell with all of you!" he yelled, continuing to push the massive horse.**

**There was a loud crash as the animal went tumbling through the passageway clumsily. The Phantom as well tripped and fell to the floor with a dull thud.**

**He quickly got to his feet, straightening out his outfit and running a hand through his dark 'hair'.**

"**All of you, back to your rooms!" he stopped, looking to Piangi eagerly "and you, spherical, obese elephant man, you will be my next victim"**

**With that, he slid the mirror closed.**

"……"

**The mirror suddenly reopened and there stood Erik. He cleared his throat, swished his cape dramatically, and once more slid the mirror closed with a slam.**

"……"

"**Hey, where'd the masked fellow go?" Christine asked, oblivious as usual.**

**Everyone exchanged glances but all eyes turned back to the little Daae.**

**Everyone just glared.**


	2. The Dread Pirate Erik

**Feel happy, I'm making a chapter two of this crap. I figure, since I'm so damn honored to have so many reviews ;; :Hands cookies out to reviewers and looker-overs: Chapter two, time to shove a few amusing things through a mirror…no, not Piangi…._yet._**

**On with the show!**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**There was a clumsy bump that seemed to echo throughout the Opera Populaire.**

"**Damn it" a low voice grumbled. An 'oof!' was soon elicited as the Phantom stumbled over something clumsily. "Stupid place…now where is spherical obese elephant man?"**

**He looked around in the dark, his light eyes narrowing to adjust.**

"**Angel?" a small voice asked from the black. Groaning, the Phantom rolled his eyes and forced a fake smile to his lips.**

"**Yes, my dear?" he forced, looking straight at her.**

"**Why are you here this late?" her tiny voice inquired in the black.**

"**No reason at all, Christine, simply to check up on you" he lied smoothly. She held the old cat tighter to her chest protectively.**

"**I have to sing tomorrow" Christine whispered quietly. The 'Opera Ghost' rolled his eyes.**

'**_She's so whiny…._' He thought exhaustedly '_were she larger, I could find her amusing and shove her into my lair. But where is the fat man?_'**

**He made his way through the dark (hitting his head on several items along the way) and stumbled about the Opera House. Even if he _had_ been seen, no one would _dare_ threaten the Phantom of the Opera.**

"**Oversized ogre!" he hissed into the dark irritably.**

**No response came. Only pure, total silence.**

"**Damnable! Where is he…I haven't much time left!" he growled, looking around.**

**In four hours, the opera house would awaken to ready for their production of 'Hannibal' and his mirror would be unreachable. He had to get all that junk down there so he could seduce the girl!**

'**_I've only got about four hours left…I need that swan bed and that organ….and the fat man, but that's just for fun. Remember, business before pleasure, Erik, remember that. Now where the hell do they keep that bed…_' he thought in frustration. He kept on and smacked into something else, only, this something spoke.**

"**Ooh!" a tiny voice exclaimed. He looked down to see Meg Giry, squinting into the darkness in a feeble attempt to see.**

"**Mama? Long lost, non existent papa?" she asked, peering around.**

**He heaved a great sigh and spoke in a soft, hypnotic voice.**

"**You will forget I was ever here, you will tell me where I can find the organ and the swan bed, as well. You will also find me the fat man so as I may put him downstairs" he said pointedly, voice smooth in tone.**

"**Yes, Opera Ghost" she said plainly, voice droned and blank. A smirk crawled to his face and twitched upon his lips.**

"**Bravissima"**

**She led him backstage and pointed to the grand bed, eyes glassy and blank as she did so.**

"**Perfect, thank you, small blonde ballerina" he grinned and snapped his fingers. No sound emanated as he realized his gloves negated the sound.**

**With a scowl, he removed the glove and snapped his fingers.**

"**I need a nap" the little Giry said, slumped against the wall and slid down it. She fell to snoring loudly and dreaming of God only knew what.**

"**Perfection" he grinned, stepping forth. The bed was wide in width but not so tall in height. Though, this made him very happy, _this_ could be a challenge. "Happy happy happy, going to shove this bed through the mirror. Fun fun fun"**

**First, he slid the black glove back upon his hand (because he felt incomplete without it).**

**He grabbed the 'creature' by its' head and began to pull. It budged about an inch within a span of two minutes.**

"**PIECE OF CRAP!" he yowled, kicking it with his boot-clad foot. "OWW!" he yelled, bringing his foot to his hand and hopping up and down.**

**Little Meg kept on snoring (much to the pain of his ears).**

"**Come on, wretch, I need you!" he began to talk to the bed, praying that moral support would force the thing to move.**

**Another minute, another inch.**

**His teeth clenched and ground together as he pulled harder and harder.**

"**Come _on_!"**

_**An hour later…..**_

**Drenched in his own sweat and mask practically sliding from his face from the perspiration, he had managed to shove the mass piece of furniture into the little Daae's dressing room.**

"**Phew" he stopped, ran his arm across the uncovered part of his forehead and found his eyes stung from the beads of sweat that lingered on the covered side of his face. **

**So, being uncomfortable, he closed his fingers over the edge of the mask and began to pull.**

**It wouldn't dislodge.**

**He pulled harder.**

**The scrap of material that hid his awful face just would not _move_. It was stuck to his _face_.**

"**I knew this would happen one day…." He muttered irritably, pulling harder He put all his might into yanking the mask off and he gritted his teeth harder, waiting for his lower jaw to shatter. "Why does everything always go _wrong_?"**

**The mask eventually ripped off his face with the sound of a suction cup being removed from a window. Startled, he it dropped and it fell into a million small, porcelain shards.**

**He blankly stared down at the mask, teeth clenching but in rage this time. His eyes clouded with tears for how much anger was coursing through him right now. **

**So he let out the anger. He turned his face to the ceiling and let out an incredibly loud, incredibly harsh scream.**

**The entire opera house jolted up from their beds.**

**He raced at the swan bed, shoulder first, and slammed into it with his entire body. The pressure of so much weight forced the bed to scoot forward and, with a slight shattering of some of the glass, through the mirror.**

**Once more, he looked to the ceiling and let out a loud yell.**

"**OLD BAG!" he exclaimed madly, light green eyes glimmering with pure fury.**

**Madame Giry timidly walked in, followed by every other resident of the opera house right behind her (almost conga-esque)**

"**Y-Yes, Erik?" she stammered.**

**In the dark, his deformity was not visible. The small amount of candlelight that flickered around only illuminated the handsome side of his face (as he was quite careful to only let them see so much).**

"**Fetch me another mask, idiot, one of you! I have more work to do. Go _now_, and stop trying to see!" self consciously, he clapped his hand against the twisted side of his features.**

**Someone scurried off and returned with a large, black eye patch. The being threw it at the Phantom and quickly ran to the back of the line.**

**He took the patch (it, oddly enough, covered most of his warped side) and smirked at them all.**

**Piangi could not hide his mass size as he attempted to hide behind Madame Giry, whimpering like a fat puppy at the sight of the Phantom. Eyes suddenly alight; the masked man smirked widely at Piangi.**

"**_Your _turn will come _very_ soon" he smirked; single, visible eye dancing with massive amounts of amusement and power-madness. **

"**Better, better" he grinned widely, running a hand through his black hair impatiently "well, come on, I have to get the organ down there. Show me to it, fools!"**

**Everyone quivered and people began running about, smacking into each other at every turn to either escape or comply to the demands of (as he looked appropriately enough like) 'The Dread Pirate Erik'.**

'**_Arr_' was all he could think, the smirk slightly disappearing as he thought something so comical.**

"**FASTER, SLAVES, I'M NOT SATISFIED AND WILL NOT PAY YOU UNTIL I AM!" he roared.**

**He felt like he needed a whip right about now, a whip and a swashbuckling sword. And maybe one of those nifty little captains' hats…..**

"**Work more quickly!" he shrieked, cupping his hands in front of his mouth to increase the volume of his already menacing voice.**

**They all ran around faster, whacking into each other this way and that.**

"**Faster!" he yelled, almost laughing.**

**They all stopped and turned to him as he began to laugh madly, the laugh more like a deep and threatening chuckle that sounded as if he belonged in the depths of hell.**

"**FASTER, LITTLE SLAVES! WORK _HARDER_! THAT'S RIGHT, BOW TO ME!" he stopped, noticing the sudden pause in sound and movement. He blinked and cleared his throat, "that is to say, find me that organ!"**

**They all quickly went back to skittering about in order to fetch him more 'furnishings' to his 'home'.**

**He felt very much like a very powerful and delightfully amused pirate puppet master.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Thus endith chapter two! Chapter three's coming soon, can you say, 'Piangi _and_ the organ through the mirror'? Erik's gonna have a blast….**


	3. Long lost, non existant papa!

**Chapter three of 'Things Too Big to Fit Through a Mirror'. I think, at one point, I'm adding myself into this just for fun, as, of course, the almighty authoress with awesome powers. Hah, well, I own nothing, except the Phantom himself. Yes, he is my slave…errm, I mean, friend. Yeah, friend.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**The terrified horde of ballet rats worked harder, trying to shove the huge organ into the dressing room with the utmost amount of force without pulling a muscle.**

**The Dread Pirate Erik watched in amusement. He really wanted some kind of whip right about now.**

"**Faster, little slaves!" he cackled slightly, pointing a gloved finger at the ballerinas.**

"**We're trying our best, _monsieur_" a small, chestnut haired one piped up sharply.**

"**Arrgh, unless you want to die, I suggest you quiet yourself" he smirked.**

**Everyone shut up, that very instant.**

**Meanwhile, back with Meg Giry**

**Still in a deep sleep, Meg Giry snored louder and louder. She grumbled something as she felt someone shaking her.**

"**Meg, Meg, wake up! The angel's here!" Christine Daae cried excitedly.**

**Yes, and I'm sure he had come to bring them all lollipops and money, too.**

"**Wake me in the morning" the blonde growled, turning over.**

"**Come _on_, Meg!" she thought for a moment, feeling a few of her brain cells explode in doing so "the angel is your papa!"**

"**Long lost, non existent papa?" she exclaimed excitedly, shooting up from her slumber.**

**The little Daae felt very satisfied with herself.**

"**Yes, that he is" Christine attempted to push excitement into her voice.**

"**Yaay!" the small ballerina leaped to her feet and sped off to find her 'long lost, non existent papa'.**

**Blink blink blink went the Christine Daae.**

"**I think she believed me" she said quietly in confusion. She shrugged and walked off, muttering "I need a nap"**

**Meg ran quickly to the dressing room and a look of happiness spread upon her face almost instantaneously.**

"**Long lost, non existent papa!" she exclaimed brightly, and latched onto the Phantom's leg tightly, her cheek slammed against it with a look of pure affection on her face.**

"**Umm…I'm not your-"**

"**I love you, long lost, non existent papa who now exists and is no longer lost" she cooed, hugging his leg tighter and tighter.**

"**Oww, kindly release my leg, small, blonde ballerina" he snapped, trying to shake her off. It was no use, she had him in a death grip.**

"**Mew" she said simply, hugging ever the tighter.**

'**_I think, if she does not release me, I'm going to have to get that limb amputated_' he thought sarcastically, distastefully glaring at the little girl on his leg.**

"**I will kill you!" he snapped, a vein in his forehead beginning to pop. She just smiled even wider each moment.**

**Christine wearily stumbled in, holding her stuffed kitty like an overprotective kangaroo to its' baby.**

"**Having fun, angel?" she asked genuinely.**

"**Ohh yes, this is vastly enjoyable. There's a child on me, I have three more hours to get everything down there so I can seduce _you_ and I'm wearing an _eye patch_! My life is complete now!" he yelled, turning red.**

**She nodded and said simply, "fun"**

**The vein in his forehead began to pop all the more with every passing second. His teeth clenched, grinding together.**

"**I love you, long lo-"**

"**SHUT UP!" he snapped, shaking his leg in the air. She simply gripped tighter and hung in the air as he attempted to free himself, "I cannot feel my leg"**

"**I love you-"**

"**I KNOW!" he growled sharply. **

**The vein in his neck began to pop as well, threatening to burst if pushed any further.**

"**I don't think she wants to get off, angel" Christine stated blankly. Bravissima, queen of the obvious!**

"**I am well aware of that, smaller and easily distracted brunette, but this is quite painful and very numbing….can't someone _else_ be your papa?" he asked desperately.**

"**I love you, long lost, non existent papa who is no longer lost and now exists" she smiled broadly and squeezed harder, rubbing her cheek ever the more affectionately against his leg.**

**He just sighed. The ballerinas kept trying to get the organ into the room. Madame Giry stared. Christine examined her stuffed baby- I mean cat. Meg held tighter and tighter to her new papa. **

**The vein in his forehead seemed as if he would soon be the victim of an aneurism.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Next chapter will be longer, I promise! It's not anywhere near done, ladies and gents, so don't expect it to be done quickly. Well, anyways, review and I hope you're liking it so far. My poor Erik, Meg's never going to detach from his leg. She needs to die, only I can cling to him. :Sigh: Review.**


	4. Prying the child off the hot man

**Chapter four of 'Things Too Big to Fit Through a Mirror'! I hope it is all to your liking so far, I'm working hard on this one. Well::hands out cookies to all reviewers and looker-over's: Keep readin' and reviewin' the fic!**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"**I CANNOT FEEL MY LEG!"**

**The words, loud and booming, echoed through the room. His singularly visible green eye narrowed and attempted a glare.**

"**But I love you, long lost-"**

"**I'M NOT YOUR DAMN FATHER!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down almost spastically.**

"**I lo-"**

"**NO!" he cried. His face, the visible side anyway, had turned a bright red from anger, frustration and the development of a blood pressure problem.**

**He shook violently, a twitch developing in that eye, and grinned madly.**

"**I love you-"**

"**I DON'T! I DESPISE YOU, SMALL BLONDE BALLERINA; I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE! NOW, YOU'RE HURTING MY LEG, SO DETACH YOUR TINY, POINTLESS BODY!" he screamed. **

**The room fell silent. He was _angry_.**

**Silence kept going….until…..**

…**.."Anyone want a cookie?"**

**The little Daae was suddenly munching upon a cookie.**

"**Where did she get a cookie?" one of the random ballerinas inquired.**

**Mouth full of cookie, she quirked her head to the side.**

"**The nice lady in the corner" she said, words muffled by the food.**

**There, in the corner, stood a girl. Her hair matched the small, stupid Daae's, only it was placed in a tasteful low ponytail. She wore a pair of formal pants and a formal jacket that looked oddly like the Phantom's outfit.**

**But, all everyone wanted to know was, why was she in _pants_?**

"**I heard there was a disturbance in the plotline" the girl stepped forward, munching on a cookie herself, "so I've come to fix it so everything runs as planned"**

"**Who the _hell_ are you?" the Phantom inquired rudely.**

"**Shut your mouth, pretty boy, don't address your writer in that tone" the girl grinned, holding out a gloved hand for him to shake, "name's Kat, authoress of this story, here to fix this mess"**

**Dumbly, he slipped her hand into his and shook it.**

"**So, what seems to be the-" her eyes suddenly caught those of the little Giry, "ohh, clingy"**

"**SHE WILL NOT GET OFF!" the Phantom shouted.**

"**Calm down, blood pressure boy, you're gonna pop a vessel" she kneeled down to Meg's eye level, "sweetheart, why are you on this nice man's leg?"**

**The words came out like a kindergarten teacher speaking to a fearful child.**

"**He's my long lost, non existent papa who is no longer lost and now exists" she muttered, eyes hitting the floor.**

"**No, he isn't, he's a disfigured weirdo with an inferiority complex and the body of a God. Otherwise, he's nobody's papa" she said pointedly, grabbing Meg around the arm.**

**Hard as she pulled, the blonde would not dislodge.**

"**Yo, where's elephant boy?"**

"**Spherical obese elephant man?" the Phantom blinked curiously.**

"**Yeah, humongo, we need his elephant power" she said flatly, still pulling.**

**Everyone took a step backward, save for Piangi. He just stood there like an idiot.**

"**Let's go, humongo, be of some use!" she barked, gesturing him over and holding out her arm "grab my arm and _pull_"**

**He did so, nearly ripping her arm from its' socket. Her other hand remained closed around Meg's arm.**

**With the sound of a suction cup being removed from a window, the tiny Giry went rolling across the floor and into the wall with a thud.**

"**Bravissima! It's off! Alright, continue as planned" with that, the girl called 'Kat' strolled off, pat Christine Daae lightly on the head and snapped her fingers.**

**A large amount of pink smoke filled the room and cleared. When everyone looked, the girl was gone as if she had never been there.**

"…**.Anyone want a cookie?" Christine asked again, now munching on a box.**

**Everyone just glared at the small Daae.**

**Then, the worst thing possible happened. Meg's eyes welled with tears, the liquid drops magnifying the dark-chocolate coloring. **

**Her lower lip began to quiver.**

**Ohh God no.**

**And soon the drops overflowed from her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.**

**Her face turned upward to the ceiling and then, the most horrid thing happened. Little Meg Giry began to cry, no, not even cry, to wail and sob.**

**Only about two and a half hours, now, to get every damn thing through that mirror.**

**Time was against him.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Hah, I was in the chapter for like three minutes! I helped! I feel special! Whoosh, thanks for reading!**


	5. Cape Entangling Mistakes , Cookie Box

**Welcome to chapter five of 'Things Too Big to Fit Through a Mirror'. I know, I'm dragging out, but I just have so many ideas for this stupid fic! Anyway, I own nothing. Phantom. Whipped cream. Chocolate sauce. Closet.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Each denizen of the opera house did their best to drone out the little Giry's wailing.**

**Well, each one except Christine, who wasn't bothered by the sound because you needed to have a brain to notice things or feel discomfort, and had no brain to speak of.**

**So she just kept eating her box of cookies quite contentedly and clutching in her free hand the stuffed cat.**

"**Make it STOP!" the Phantom screamed, hands pressed to either side of his head "it is like the shriek of a thousand dying cats!"**

"**Anyone want a cookie?" Christine asked calmly, blinking innocently.**

**Everyone in the room was completely ready to pounce upon her and destroy her.**

"**I WANT MY PAPA!" Meg Giry screamed loudly, head turned to the ceiling and mouth wide open as she cried harder.**

"**You have no papa, bastard child!" the Phantom snapped viciously.**

**Big mistake.**

**The little Giry's dark eyes magnified with fresh tears and the screaming became shrieking, violently high pitched shrieking.**

"**You were my papa!" the little blonde cried, pointing to the Phantom, "Christine told me so!"**

**And everyone turned to the absent-minded little Daae, whose head was halfway in the box of cookies in order to seek out the crumbs. The stuffed cat lay limply in her lap as she burrowed into the cookie box.**

"**Foolish child…" the Phantom muttered, gesturing for the ballerinas to keep working.**

**The screaming was a dull roar, now, deafening everyone to the point where they no longer cared.**

**The ballet rats scurried about frantically, crying out "Hurry or he'll kill us!" and running to their former positions at the organ still in the doorway.**

"**Hey, I was there last time!" a chestnut haired girl exclaimed, shoving another ballerina out of the way.**

**So, to add to the sobbing and wailing of Meg Giry came the clamoring of the ballet rats, screaming at who had taken what place when they were to push the organ into the room.**

"**I was on the other side!" one yelled, pointing in said direction.**

"**You're all mad!" the Dread Pirate Erik yelled, that vein in his forehead beginning to pop again.**

**Everyone turned to the madman in the eye patch, snorted unbecomingly and went back to accusing each other of who went where and what went with whom.**

**The sobbing/wailing kept on, the arguing went on and the oblivious newly ordained soprano kept trying to eat the crumbs at the bottom of the box.**

**Every other member of the Opera Populaire just kept staring like a gaggle of idiots.**

"**ENOUGH OF THIS!" the Phantom boomed, pointing to the floor beneath him. All went silent, "TO HELL WITH ALL OF YOU! I NEED ONE EASY TASK DONE AND YOU SIMPLE-MINDED FOOLS CANNOT EVEN DO THAT! PITIFUL, YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!"**

**The screaming stopped. The crying stopped. The cookie search continued.**

"**Everyone!" he pointed to the mirror "push that organ in there and I will do so the rest of the way!"**

**The quivering ballerinas pushed with all their strength (which was an odd amount for a bunch of tiny little girls) and the organ slid into the mirror's pathway with a screech. **

"**Good, good fools! Now, all of you, out of the way!" he pushed the chestnut haired ballerinas from her position and rammed his full body weight into the organ.**

**It slid into the mirror's entrance.**

**He rammed a second time. The mirror began to shatter at the sides and edges.**

**A third time and the thing slid down the dank hallway and hit the wall with a dull thud.**

**Successful, he grinned hugely and mentally did a victory dance.**

**The little Meg Giry's eyes were red-brimmed from tears and bloodshot, just as if she had been crying quite a bit.**

"**I am" he turned, defeated "I am sorry I am not your papa"**

**The words came out jumbled and stammered, being that he didn't believe he ever needed to apologize to anyway.**

**The small blonde sniffled and ran her arm across her eyes, the moist tear residue wiping off her face and onto her arm in a long streak.**

"**It's okay" she said, voice congested.**

"**Yes, well" he turned, smirking widely and swished his cape dramatically. Despite the fact that he had become excellent at this, he soon became entangled in the mass of black material and fell to the floor with an incredibly clumsy thud.**

**He writhed about for a few minutes but regained his composure, sitting up and looking very much like a butterfly in a cocoon.**

"**I shall" he managed to his feet, arms bound to his sides as he hopped through the mirror's "RETURN!"**

**A maniacal laugh rang through the air and he stopped, closing his teeth around the side of the mirror and pushing with all his might.**

**The mirror slid closed and, slightly humiliated, the 'all powerful' Phantom of the opera limped away, encased tightly in the vast sea of material that was his cape.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Heh, Erik's such a jackass…getting himself in so much trouble like that….stupid hot tool of a Phantom.**


End file.
